My 2019

It’s been a while.

2019 consisted of my second semester of junior year and my first semester of senior year. It was quite something. I gave my ridiculously hard classes ridiculous effort, and thankfully came out of junior year happy and successful. I didn’t read much because of it, but when I did, it was a whole series at once, multiple books in a week. I accomplished many rereads and it felt fantastic.

I started looking at colleges, which was not the promised “fun” process for me. The future seems scary and looming sometimes. However, it gave me and my family an excuse to visit new cities like Boston, Nashville, and Philadelphia. My family found that although we love the beach, we love touring cities together and especially trying all the food.

At the end of 2018, I forced myself to reevaluate my friendships, and decide which ones were “life-giving” and “life-sucking.” Now, I can truthfully say everyone in my life is someone who loves me and is committed to a relationship.

This year was a year of new friendships. An awkward situation with a friend was a blessing in disguise, because it helped me find the best people I could ask for. They help me grow stronger in my faith and are consistently there for me. They are real with me. We have had so many adventures since from getting bubble tea to hammocking to light saber fights to late-night Portillo's. They made my 2019 so special.

This year I went on a missions trip to La Villita in Chicago. Besides just serving there, which we did with joy and lots of productivity, it was the first time my youth group started to bond with each other. I connected with new people and we started to understand each other. The memory that stands out to me is when a few of us stayed up talking until 3 am, pouring our hearts out to each other and using many, many tissues.

I got closer with my sister this year, I think. We can bicker, but we can also give each other compassion. I’ve cried in her arms, and she’s wept in my car. We go on dates together and I even drove her to break up with her boyfriend. That was a lovely sister bonding moment.

2020 is unfathomable to me. In this year, I will graduate high school and go to college who-knows-where. I will have to leave friends to go to college, and I will be left behind too. I’m anticipating the effort I need to maintain those relationships, but I also feel like since I know what true friendship is now, I might be more prepared than ever to do it.

This year brings so many adventures. I am going to attend BookCon in May and visit New York City. This has been a dream of mine for the longest time, and I’m so thankful it is coming to life. I will also hopefully be serving on a missions team to Philadelphia, a city I've found myself attached to since visiting. As a graduating senior, I hope that I can help usher in the new generation of high schoolers into the youth group and be a mentor for them as I have been mentored.

This year, I will hammock a lot, drink unreasonable amounts of coffee, give long, tight hugs, and treasure all the lasts this year will bring. It took a long time for me to say, but I am starting to look forward to the firsts of this year with excitement. I will read many books, I will sing my favorite songs very loud, and I will follow through with the things I’ve always wanted to do.

This last decade of my life has been, if it were a Friends episode, “The One Where We Grew Up.” I went from an 8-year-old kid to a young adult. Heck, I can enter the Hamilton lottery on my own now. But more than anything, this decade has shown me that God is faithful. He doesn’t start something He won’t finish. So this next year is for God to start and finish things in me. I might not see a finish line but I believe that this race, this journey, has a purpose. If God was faithful then, He will be faithful now. I am so thankful for the ways He has blessed me and the experiences He has given me these past ten years.

Goodbye 2019. This has been one of the most stressful, most anxious, most joy-filled, most exciting years of my life. I appreciate the wild ride. I can’t wait to see what the next day, next month, next year, next decade brings. I’m sure it will be wonderful.

Lots of love, 

                      Ellie